Ever notice in a fight how both parties think that it is the other person’s fault? Is that a novel thought? Lately I have been thinking through the contentions in my life with various people. And when I communicate with these people I have my arguments/reasons that they are in the wrong, and they have their’s. And both of us really believes that at the root of the problem is the other person. It is funny (seriously- I find it humorous) that Solomon wrote about this in Proverbs (13:10)- “Pride only breeds quarrel”. It seems that it is safe to say that any time there is any division or disunity then there must be pride. I say this because at the root of all dissension is a “I am right” and/or “you are wrong”. Of course, since none of us is God, and therefore none is completely perfect and righteous, my assumption is that there must be some pride on both parties in almost every case (and probably massive pride in most cases). So in a random illustration- Two people are at oughts. One guy says that the other guy is arrogant and condescending when he speaks. That he feels little and insignificant and stupid during many conversations. The complaints go on, but in the end the complaint is nothing more than-“You are untrustworthy and belittling”. The other guys says- You dominate the relationship. You make everything about you. You don’t receive mAndounsel….and the complaints go on. In the end, both guys have made valid complaints. But they also have biased views on the reality of the relationship. Each guy sees things from his perspective. Now, obviously, there is pride enough to sabotage the relationship, but it goes deeper than this. You see, just in the very complaint of something against someone is an issue of pride and self-centeredness. If I say- You offend me- right there is some kind of pride. It believes that YOU have HARMED ME-! It, at the very core says I am more important than you. How can it not? We are not talking about extreme situations here (like- You bashed my head in with………uhm, let’s say- a hat of thorns of some sort), but rather normal relational problems. If I am offenddoesn'tat someone doesn’t invite me to a gig at their house, and I am offended, then what I am saying is- “You owed it to me to invite me to your gig- I am central”. If we are offended that someone calls us a name or says something about us that is mean and vicious- whether true or not- we have placed great importance on ourselves. Especially if we become angry before hearing the whole matter from the alleged guilty party and any others involved. And especially if we just don’t decide to forgive anyway. I realize that we are all imperfect, and that we live in an imperfect world, but the reality of the matter is that we are full of pride and that we are going to have contentions with people. So the question rises- What do we do about it? Or better yet- How do we become like Christ Jesus in this matter? Here is what God is teaching (reteaching for the matter): 1) Philippcondescend Christ condescended Himself, Humbled Himself to save us. He became one of us and put up with our trash and wrong towards him, so that He could die on a cross in our place. Peter tells us that we should follow that example (1 Peter 2:21). If Christ Jesus who is Infinitely valuable suffered without getting even or casting blame-then we ought to follow that example. 2) We need to forgive each other. We need to forgive each other just as the Lord has forgiven us. Since ultimately, their sin is against God and not really us, and he has forgiven- so we ought also to forgive. Plus, Jesus taught that proof that we have truly embraced His forgiveness is that we forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15) 3) We need to throw away the “guilty” records that we all keep of others. I know that I have a good memory (or is it bad since I use it for bad so often) and I will remind people of the many times they have wronged me- Perfect love, the kind of Love that Jesus not only demonstrated towards us (Romans 5:8) but the kind of love Jesus enabled us to love witdoesn'tat type of love- doesn’t keep a record of wrong (1 Corinthians 13:5). This is heavy on my heart because I deal with so many broken relationships, and I have my own tarnished relationships. There are husband and wife problems, sibling quarrels, parents and children, neighbors, co-workers- church members- every where is disunity- and Jesus came to restore these things (Romans 8:19-25shouldn'tsians 1:20). Shouldn’t this be what we aim to do this Christmas- Forgive those who we have problems with? Sharing some things that are heavy on my heart- S